Is your student receiving an early admission decision soon?

It's that time of year again.

Early admission decisions are coming out.

The wait will finally be over.

And reality will come to roost.

I was asked by my headmaster yesterday what the "early forecast" looks like for our students.

Talk about being put on the spot in our administrative meeting.

My response.

The weather doppler shows an early winter mix of snow and sunshine.

Emily Dickinson gave great advice when she poetically waxed:

"Tell the truth but tell it slant."

Metaphors are helpful "slants" (/) to convey hard truths.

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Just today The Choice blog published a post on advice for parents and students who are receiving news from colleges.

Many of my colleagues had excellent insights and anecdotes to illustrate the do's and don'ts.

The story of the mom recording "the moment" and failing to see her daughter sobbing because of the bad news - that's a "parent fail" moment (not that I haven't already had a bevy of fail moments with my 6 year old)


Or the parent who ordered two different Christmas cards.

One with the daughter in her Duke sweatshirt.

The other with her daughter in another outfit.

Truth is stranger than fiction sometimes - isn't it?

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One thing I have to keep in mind is that this is not my moment.

It's not about me.

This is the student's moment.

My job in that student's moment is to try and practice what Harvard professor and theologian Henri Nouwen called the "ministry of presence."

To minister presence simply means being present in the present with the person in my presence.

This is never easy to do.

I have to resist the impulse to "fix" the situation.

I'm learning though that it is OK for things not to be OK.

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All of us deep down hate to see our kids suffer disappointment.

We are a pain aversion society - aren't we?

We're a Happy Meal culture.

We're a Lake Woebegone world where every kid is now well above average.

We don't want to acknowledge that most meaningful success stories are shaped by a trajectory of suffering.

People who end up really mattering to the world are people who end up enduring great suffering to matter to the world.

I'm reading Team of Rivals right now, for example.

I've been amazed in just the first 100 pages by how Lincoln's suffering in his formative years molded his character.

And I've been equally amazed at how Lincoln handled personal loss and political defeat.

He wasn't a Clint Eastwood type.

He didn't just grit it out.

Lincoln grieved it out.

He had unstinting bouts of "hypocondria" that drove him to the edge of despair.

But it's that emotional edge that ultimately gave Lincoln his moral edge.

Lincoln wouldn't have been Lincoln without the personal and political set backs.

One salient thing Lincoln possessed during his lifetime was the ability to navigate those painful moments through story telling and good humor.  

Lincoln found ways in moments punctuated by grave disappointment or ferocious intensity to keep his sanity and perspective by telling a funny, homespun anecdote he gleaned from his father while growing up in the backwoods of Kentucky. 

The film "Lincoln" illustrates this poignantly when Lincoln tells a crude story about a toilet and portrait of George Washington that had his entire cabinet in raucous fits just moments before they received critical news from the Civil War battle front.

Perhaps there is something we can all glean from Lincoln here.

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Often times the best thing to do when it is bad news for kids is not to say anything all.

Chicken Soup words just don't warm the soul.

It's best to do what Jews down through the centuries have done amid suffering.

Call it the ancient practice of just shutting up and being silently with. 

A hug.  Tears.  A steaming cup of hot chocolate with marshmallows bobbing on the frothy surface.

A fun Christmas movie like Elf.

Moreover, it's best for this moment to occur in a private place with supportive people.

It's days or weeks after that I will try to reasonably explain the hidden perils that may have factored into the unfavorable application decision.

Especially at highly selective institutions where the goal is for the admission officer to find a reason not to admit the student.

I often begin by reminding the crestfallen student that the college made a decision on a 5 to 15 minute application review, as well as a set of institutional goals that the student may or may not have fit into as an applicant.

In other words, this college didn't deny you.

They denied your application.

Sometimes the college is denying your application because on page one they saw that you didn't fit a certain geographical demographic or ethnic demographic.

Or you checked off one gender box instead of the other. 

Or that you chose an academic discipline that is full.

Or that you have a smattering of B's and C's from your freshman year.

Or that you took a freshman level course like Chinese 1 in your senior academic program.

Or that you took Honors US History instead of AP US History. 

Or that your activities chart was too thin.  (They needed more generalist).

Or that your activities chart was too thick.  (They needed more specialist).

Or that you didn't check the "plan to participate in college" box.

Or that your parents didn't attend this particular college.

Or that your test score was "profile negative" by a single point.

Or that a teacher checked the box "Excellent - Top 10%" in their Teacher Evaluation form instead of "Exceptional "Top 2-3%".

There are a myriad of reasons that a student's application is admitted, deferred, or denied that is beyond one's control.

Beyond my control.

Beyond your parent's control.

Beyond some rich alumni's control.

Just beyond.

And not being able to manipulate the results just plain sucks.

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Life is moments.

And this will be for your student one of those moments.

It's not the ultimate moment.

It's just one moment among many moments that will shape them.

Looking back, I realize now that often the moment isn't about the news.

It's about the person's response.

I also realize that the moment isn't meant to be a solitary event.

It's meant to be a communal moment.

Some moments, in other words, are meant to be shared.  

Any disappointment can be absorbed and overcome in the presence of someone who cares, supports, encourages, and ultimately loves you.

I often remind parents in our first college meeting that a study has shown that a parent has roughly 3000 hours to influence a child.

That's 3000 dots.

No dots are more impacting than dots of love.

For in the end, love is always presence.

Every one of us needs to hear, regardless if we are hearing back from a college, that we are loved simply because.

@UVADean Eyebrow Raiser!

I call it the C.A.E.I.

I'm guilty of it.

You (the parent) might be too.

It's the result of a conundrum, really.

If I don't do it, the student's application might turn into a paper airplane.

Destination - the deny bucket.

But if I do do it, then I risk taking something away from my student.

The feeling of authenticity.

And personal ownership.

And the idea that the college journey is the student's journey.

But nevertheless, more often than not, we succumb to the C.A.E.I.

My favorite dean recently tweeted out a possible C.A.E.I. violation.

It's the College Application Editorial Impulse.

It's one thing to edit out a typo.

A misspelled word.

An upper case word that needs capitalizing.

But it is another thing to shape the story.

Or to pepper the essay with octosyllabic, SAT, Ph.D.-level words where a small, ordinary, Joe 6-pack set of words would suffice.

Or to imbue the essay with little poetic touches.

Like a nice sounding simile.

Or silver tongued metaphor that would make Scott Fitzgerald bow a knee of reverence.

Or worse - turn a self-effacing moment in the essay into a self-triumphal moment.

Where instead of the student revealing themselves to an admission officer.

They end up packaging themselves.  

Nevertheless, I try my best to resist the impulse to edit the student's voice and style and worldview out of the essay.

There is, no doubt, a lot at stake in the college essay.

But to write the essay for the student, or to write the student out of the essay - in the long run it will do far more harm than good.

My hope is always that the whole college process is self-reflecting, self-revealing, and self-validating for the student.

The essay or essays is just one way that the student is able to reflect, reveal, and invite the reader to get to know them in an authentic way.

Authenticity.

Almost every dean of admission out there shares a common desire to see students reveal the true self.

Here is one example from the dean of admission at Princeton.

Here though is my confession.

As an English teacher, I'm conditioned to want to improve the quality of content in a student's work.

But in the end, this is not my essay.

It's not my application.

It's not my journey.

So I'm trying to do a better job of correcting the typos, grammar gaffes, and punctuation errors, but not tampering with the animating core of a student's essay.

So I guess I am a recovering C.A.E.I.

I need tweets like @UVADeanJ to keep me on the road to full recovery.

All of us do - don't we?



 
 

College Coaching Video #1

Over the next six months, I will be adding a weekly college coaching video.

They will be short instruction videos that essentially are "chalk board chats" I often have with students and parents in my office as we discuss a range of college related topics.

The first coaching video has to do with regular admissions.

Many students will be hearing this week regarding early college admission decisions.

Gulp.

Some students will hear good news, specifically in Early Decision programs, and their college selection process will conclude by adding their new college's decal to their car.

At the same time, other students will hear disappointing news, either being deferred or denied in early admissions, which will send them scrambling to their Common Application portals to add more schools.

This first video is an attempt to coach students/parents through the application decision process.

There is a common mistake students make in regular admission.

I call it the horizontal mistake.

How do I interpret my student's PSAT score report?

Today I sent out a push page to UD parents in regards to PSAT score reports being distributed back to their students.  

I told the parents to keep seven things in mind as they discuss the PSAT report with their students.

First, PSAT scores are NOT reported or used in college admissions.   However, colleges do purchase student names from the PSAT to begin recruiting prospective students.

 Second, PSAT categorical scores are easily converted to a SAT score by adding a 0 (i.e.  M:  -> 55; 550,  CR:  60 -> 600, W:  49 -> 490).

 Third, most college admissions still ONLY use the Math and Critical Reading sections (1600 scale) in their application assessment.  Moreover, colleges are required to only submit Math and Critical Reading averages (75^th-25^th percentiles) for ranking purposes to magazines like US News and World Report.

 Fourth, for 11^th grade students, the 2012 National Merit qualifying score for Oklahoma was 206.  This score changes each year and for each state.  We won’t know what the 2013 NM qualifying score is until August.

 Fifth, studies show that most students average a 30-150 point improvement on their SAT score.  This normally occurs when a student re-takes the SAT for a second time.  A 300 point spike is very rare...no matter the amount or quality of test prep.  (This Times blog post attempts to debunk myth of test prep.)

Sixth, Casady students generally perform better on the ACT.  Last year, for example, 89% of the Class of 2012 scored highest on the ACT.

Seventh, the SAT and ACT are interchangeable credentials to college admissions.  In fact, this year was the first year nationally that the ACT was more popular than the SAT (see article).  In addition, some colleges are “test flexible” in that they will take 3 SAT II Subject Tests or 3 AP scores (i.e. NYU) instead of the ACT or SAT.  Moreover, 800+ colleges are “test optional” in that they don’t require a test score (Bowdoin, Wake Forest, Middlebury, Sewanee).  Go to this link to peruse this list: http://www.fairtest.org/university/optional.

It's important then that you reach out to your college counselor if you have any follow-up questions about the PSAT score report or standardized testing in general.

If they aren't available, please don't hesitate to email me at bottomlyj@casady.org.  I'd be glad to help. 

Waiting on an Early Admission Decision?

It's the hush and quiet pause in our office before the storm arrives with admission news.

Fresh acne has already broken out on my chin.

My finger nails are chewed down to salmon colored nubs.

And I have to resist the impulse to harangue admission officers to share early decisions.

Most of my emails to admission reps start with a Shakespeare quote (I'm teaching Macbeth right now to 10th graders).  

"The readiness is the all."

Forewarned is forearmed - right?

I've found that college counseling is a lot like coaching.

When you win, it's the players.

When you lose, it's the coach's fault.

Colleges never fire losing players.

So far, I've gotten a mix of responses from admissions reps.

Some say, "Because of the sensitivity of the admission decision, I can not reveal to you the results.  We wish the candidate the best of luck."

That's code for deny.

Then there are other colleges that have entrusted the decision to me.

Probably the worst part of the job is having to hold onto bad news for weeks before the student receives it.

It's also the same with good news.

Hard to repress the excitement for them.

Tomorrow, my colleague and I are getting an "admission preview" phone call from a highly selective school in regards to two of our candidates.

"Admission preview" - I like that.

Regardless, this is an unnerving time for all parties involves - students waiting, parents waiting, counselors waiting, friends waiting, communities waiting, board of trustees waiting (ugh!).

What then do you do during the waiting season?

For me, I've found that three things help me pass the time.

Books.  I just started Team of Rivals.  I saw the movie "Lincoln" on Friday and immediately went to Barnes and Noble and bought the book.  It's 996 pages of distraction.

Exercise.  I'm hitting the weight room a bit more these days.  Lifting and running helps relieve pent-up stress.  I always feel a bit more like a balloon inside instead of a bar of lead after I work out.

Fun.  There is nothing like a nerf gun war through the house with your 5-year old, or sumo wrestling on the bed, that doesn't bring perspective.  Or correction in terms of what is most important.

While I was walking back from lunch today, I saw one of our seniors in the quad area who is waiting on an early decision.

In between flinging the neon orange Frisbee, he was doing handstands.

Handstands.

You ought to try it.

The smile on that student's face told me that regardless of the news he hears next Friday, he's going to be alright.

So will you.

December College Check List

Yesterday we met with seniors to discuss the "December College Check List".

If you have a senior in the college application process, it is worth noting a handful of these.

•  College Decisions and Scholarships.   Between mid-December and mid-January, students will be hearing back from colleges about early admissions decisions.   It’s important that students inform their college counselor of the admission decision, as well as any scholarships offered by the colleges.  
• Admission Deadlines (Regular).  Many schools will have regular admission deadlines over the Christmas holidays.  The good news is that all of these schools will take electronic submissions.  This then will make it easy for college counselors to upload and submit from laptops in Des Moines(my holiday destination) or the comfort of their living room.  It’s important though that we know when students have submitted their applications over the break.    
• Application Checklist (Regular).  It’s important that students check off ALL application requirements.  Some colleges, for example, require 2-3SAT II Subject Tests.  The last date to take SAT Subject Tests will be January 26^th.  It’s also important to make sure that all test scores and supplemental forms have been submitted to the school by the deadline.  This is the student’s responsibility.  Our office submits all transcripts and recommendations.    
•  Final Testing.  The last dates seniors can take the ACT for regular admission consideration are December 8^th and February 9^th.  Last date for SAT I/SAT II is January 26^th.  Make sure to have test scores sent directly to schools. 
• Plan B or Plan C.  For some students, Plan A isn’t going to work out.  It’s an unfortunate part of the college admission process.  To alleviate additional stress on all parties, it is important that every student has a Plan B, even Plan C in place.  You know the sapient maxim:  Hope for the best, but prepare for the worst.  College counselors are there to discuss a new strategic plan going forward in regular admission, 
• Final Thought.  I shared with the kids in closing a bit of my own journey, and how I was wait listed at my #1 college.  I still can recall the visceral wallop that the WL letter left on my stomach region.  It took days, even weeks, for me to recover as an 18-year old kid.  Undoubtedly, this is a very personal process…and in a small, tight knit school like Casady, this process is a very communal one. But what I reminded the kids – and remind you -- is that these colleges aren’t accepting, deferring, or rejecting you.  They are making a judgment call on a 15 minute review of an application.

New @UVaDeanJ Tweets!

My favorite dean of admission has had some tweet gems lately. 

Here are 5 of my favorites.

No preferential order.

Enjoy a good laugh.