Monday, November 15, 2010

10 Warning Signs That the Senior's Family is Losing It

I came across this Top 10 list posted on our faculty billboard.

I'm always a sucker for Top 10 lists.

Here then are the Top 10 warning signs that your whole family may be losing its grip on reality thanks to the college admission process:

10. Son ignores State Department travel warning in order to seek re'sume' building community service experience among Kurdish separatists near the Iraq-Turkey border.

9. Daughter complains that classmate who uses a wheelchair has a better college essay topic.

8. Son is distressed that the SAT does not offer extra-credit problems.

7. Mom has a sudden falling out with best after the best friend's daughter is accepted early at Yale.

6. Dad proclaims that only SAT vocabulary words may be used in dinner conversations.

5. The family hires a private investigator to verify that the student's great-great-grandfather was half Cherokee.

4. Thanksgiving dinner conversation is devoted to critiquing essay drafts.

3. Daughter memorizes Tiers 1 and II of the US News National University rankings.

2. Mom searches the Web for a car-window decal that says "also accepted at..."

1. Message on the family answering machine notes that daughter is a National Merit Semifinalist.